Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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