Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
