Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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