Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
