I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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