you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
