Me. At least after what I've been through.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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