I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize