Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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