oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
