the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
