im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
we should paint friendship bongs
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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