Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
