I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
