But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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