Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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