If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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