The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
