Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
