It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
