i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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