Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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