i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
