It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
