I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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