It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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