just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i believe in u and ur pee
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
