ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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