You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
