Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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