I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
