Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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