She said her name was "party"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
