Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
