ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
