I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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