before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
