Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
