In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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