Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.

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(847): View more from Illinois

she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides

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(818): View more from California

Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...

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(804): View more from Virginia

Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.

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(323): View more from California

I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?

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(903): View more from Texas

You're a waste of cheezeits

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(518): View more from New York

Why does your place smell like gin and misery?

(1-518): View more from New York

I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'

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(941): View more from Florida

Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.

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