i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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