btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
should my penis look like a turkey
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
