Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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