dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
