Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
