This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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