Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
