Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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