You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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