this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
