so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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