butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
