The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
