glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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