Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
