Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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