the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
