Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
