Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
high people should be assigned attendants
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize