Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
How naked do you want me to be?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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