Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
