Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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